May 14, 2013 1 Comment
By Wolfgang Reibe www.wolfgangreibe.com
It’s May! How are the New Year’s resolutions coming on? Still pushing ahead or have you given up? At the beginning of every year I make a concerted effort to follow through with all my New Year’s resolutions. So far, so good, but the biggest one for me this year was to learn not to get annoyed by inconsiderate and annoying people around me, from associates, work colleagues, family members and my weak point – corrupt politicians.
We often joke about this, but how often in a day do you quietly curse someone in your thoughts, whether it’s that inconsiderate driver that cut you off in morning traffic, or your boss that hasn’t acknowledged that you were up the whole night sorting out a crises?
Here’s the reality… we all have these feelings… everyday! Yes, even I have them! Sometimes I want to pop a blood vessel when I see the greed and corruption amongst our politicians. However, the only person getting upset is me! They are just carrying on as always, and no matter how much I jump up and down. When I scream at the driver and use foul language in the car and attempt to display every crude sign I can with my hands, odds are I am only enraging myself as the other person doesn’t even realize it’s them I am cursing at.
Unfortunately, most of the time we just annoy ourselves more than the other person. If anything I find this is the most difficult issue to come to terms with in my life. I have lectured, written about and put many videos on You Tube about dealing with hatred and letting go of the past. And I really try to practice what I preach. Nevertheless, there are ALWAYS and there always will be those people out there that WE ALL love to hate. Those people that ALWAYS annoy us, no matter how hard we try to remain calm. For weeks we can go about ignoring them, and then one day, out of the blue, grrrrr and all that pent up aggression explodes. The saddest thing of all is, we tend to take it out on those that are closest to us. Your spouse is cuddling next to you in front of the TV, completely relaxed and content in the moment, when you suddenly scream and jump up because of someone on the television, ruining the mood completely. Sound familiar? I’ve done it!
What about driving in the car and everyone is listening to a nice song on the radio, when suddenly someone three cars ahead does something stupid (which doesn’t affect you) and you blurt out a string of abuse that would even embarrass a rap singer!
Hopefully I have put a little smile on your face as you maybe relate to what I am saying. At the time it’s not funny, but afterwards, I have to embarrassingly laugh at myself acknowledging that I have just described me.
How do I learn to deal with this? Realistically, I feel there will always be inconsiderate people out there. However, it is up to us to try and control our reactions to them. Instead of blowing one’s top ten times out of ten, don’t you agree it would be better just to lose your cool one time out of ten. Of course it would be great if we could just all let go completely. But I am a realist… thus even if I only manage to half my outbursts – that’s already an improvement.
With all of this in mind, I am going to share tips with you on how to cope with annoying people in your life. I have attached a PDF of my short E-Book: 25 Tips of Coping with Annoying People for you to enjoy. Should you want other E-Formats of the book, visitwww.mindpowerpublications.com to download them for free.
Also, I have uploaded a new Quick Tips video with 3 tips on coping with Annoying People – although I must warn you, the 3rd tip (which I think is the most realistic and funny tip) may not be everyone’s cup of tea – but I still think it’s brilliant! Watch it at your own risk! Click here.
5 Tips on Coping with Annoying People
1. Becoming upset make you remember it longer
The more you acknowledge and think about the person or thing that has upset you, the more you etch that thought into your subconscious mind. You must remember that you are not dealing with a fleeting thought here, but a feeling that is filled with emotion, and intense emotion at that. This is powerful stuff and the more you harp on it, the better the odds of it becoming cemented into your long term memory and upsetting you for weeks and months to come. The solution is to give any irritation as little time and thought as possible.
2. Sometimes YOU are a fault too!
Admitting that one has made a mistake is a hard thing to do. The last thing you want to acknowledge is that you are weak and actually make mistakes too. If this is you – grow up and realize that ALL OF US are human. We ALL make mistakes. It takes a bigger person to admit when they are wrong. I have found that by being brutally honest with myself and actually admitting when I do make a mistake, that I have learnt to laugh at myself and not take myself so seriously. Those around me respect me for being so comfortable with myself and forgive me because I can acknowledge when I am wrong while at the same time (and this is so important) actually forgiving myself too.
3. Reacting can damage your reputation
Yes you may believe that you are in the right and have been falsely wronged! Guess what… if you lose your temper and start a fight, those around you will judge and see you in the same light as the aggressor. It may even make you look petty and unreasonable. Ever thought about it like that? Try not to react, you are better off for it.
4. Stand up for yourself and be clear about your boundaries
Nowhere is there a rule book that states that you must be friends with everyone around you. As humans we long for acknowledgement and recognition and many people fail to realize that not everyone will give you this. My dad always told me that I should not strive to have everyone love me, but instead I should strive to have them respect me. This is a very important point in life. We always try fit in everywhere, but never take a stand in what we believe. Then we wonder why people don’t respect us. It is an unchangeable fact that not everyone will like you – there is NOTHING you can do to change this. However, you can get them to respect you. The only way you can do this is to stand up for what you believe in. One way to do this with annoying people is to clearly tell them what your boundaries are and what you will allow them to say to you. Letting others know about your feelings and boundaries helps them treat you in the manner you want to be treated.
5. Take your own advice
Instead of judging and giving advice to others, how about taking your own advice and practicing what you preach? Consider someone that is annoying right now. What exactly is it that annoys you about them and what advice would you give them to stop doing it? Now take your advice for this person, and apply it to yourself. Reality check – most of the time what you feel others should be doing, you need to apply in your own life.