Tips for dealing with annoying people

By Wolfgang Reibe www.wolfgangreibe.com

It’s May! How are the New Year’s resolutions coming on? Still pushing ahead or have you given up? At the beginning of every year I make a concerted effort to follow through with all my New Year’s resolutions. So far, so good, but the biggest one for me this year was to learn not to get annoyed by inconsiderate and annoying people around me, from associates, work colleagues, family members and my weak point – corrupt politicians.

We often joke about this, but how often in a day do you quietly curse someone in your thoughts, whether it’s that inconsiderate driver that cut you off in morning traffic, or your boss that hasn’t acknowledged that you were up the whole night sorting out a crises?

Here’s the reality… we all have these feelings… everyday! Yes, even I have them! Sometimes I want to pop a blood vessel when I see the greed and corruption amongst our politicians. However, the only person getting upset is me! They are just carrying on as always, and no matter how much I jump up and down. When I scream at the driver and use foul language in the car and attempt to display every crude sign I can with my hands, odds are I am only enraging myself as the other person doesn’t even realize it’s them I am cursing at.

Unfortunately, most of the time we just annoy ourselves more than the other person. If anything I find this is the most difficult issue to come to terms with in my life. I have lectured, written about and put many videos on You Tube about dealing with hatred and letting go of the past. And I really try to practice what I preach. Nevertheless, there are ALWAYS and there always will be those people out there that WE ALL love to hate. Those people that ALWAYS annoy us, no matter how hard we try to remain calm. For weeks we can go about ignoring them, and then one day, out of the blue, grrrrr and all that pent up aggression explodes. The saddest thing of all is, we tend to take it out on those that are closest to us. Your spouse is cuddling next to you in front of the TV, completely relaxed and content in the moment, when you suddenly scream and jump up because of someone on the television, ruining the mood completely. Sound familiar? I’ve done it!

What about driving in the car and everyone is listening to a nice song on the radio, when suddenly someone three cars ahead does something stupid (which doesn’t affect you) and you blurt out a string of abuse that would even embarrass a rap singer!

Hopefully I have put a little smile on your face as you maybe relate to what I am saying. At the time it’s not funny, but afterwards, I have to embarrassingly laugh at myself acknowledging that I have just described me.

How do I learn to deal with this? Realistically, I feel there will always be inconsiderate people out there. However, it is up to us to try and control our reactions to them. Instead of blowing one’s top ten times out of ten, don’t you agree it would be better just to lose your cool one time out of ten. Of course it would be great if we could just all let go completely. But I am a realist… thus even if I only manage to half my outbursts – that’s already an improvement.

With all of this in mind, I am going to share tips with you on how to cope with annoying people in your life. I have attached a PDF of my short E-Book: 25 Tips of Coping with Annoying People for you to enjoy. Should you want other E-Formats of the book, visitwww.mindpowerpublications.com to download them for free.

Also, I have uploaded a new Quick Tips video with 3 tips on coping with Annoying People – although I must warn you, the 3rd tip (which I think is the most realistic and funny tip) may not be everyone’s cup of tea – but I still think it’s brilliant! Watch it at your own risk! Click here.
5 Tips on Coping with Annoying People

1. Becoming upset make you remember it longer
The more you acknowledge and think about the person or thing that has upset you, the more you etch that thought into your subconscious mind. You must remember that you are not dealing with a fleeting thought here, but a feeling that is filled with emotion, and intense emotion at that. This is powerful stuff and the more you harp on it, the better the odds of it becoming cemented into your long term memory and upsetting you for weeks and months to come. The solution is to give any irritation as little time and thought as possible.

2. Sometimes YOU are a fault too!
Admitting that one has made a mistake is a hard thing to do. The last thing you want to acknowledge is that you are weak and actually make mistakes too. If this is you – grow up and realize that ALL OF US are human. We ALL make mistakes. It takes a bigger person to admit when they are wrong. I have found that by being brutally honest with myself and actually admitting when I do make a mistake, that I have learnt to laugh at myself and not take myself so seriously. Those around me respect me for being so comfortable with myself and forgive me because I can acknowledge when I am wrong while at the same time (and this is so important) actually forgiving myself too.

3. Reacting can damage your reputation
Yes you may believe that you are in the right and have been falsely wronged! Guess what… if you lose your temper and start a fight, those around you will judge and see you in the same light as the aggressor. It may even make you look petty and unreasonable. Ever thought about it like that? Try not to react, you are better off for it.

4. Stand up for yourself and be clear about your boundaries
Nowhere is there a rule book that states that you must be friends with everyone around you. As humans we long for acknowledgement and recognition and many people fail to realize that not everyone will give you this. My dad always told me that I should not strive to have everyone love me, but instead I should strive to have them respect me. This is a very important point in life. We always try fit in everywhere, but never take a stand in what we believe. Then we wonder why people don’t respect us. It is an unchangeable fact that not everyone will like you – there is NOTHING you can do to change this. However, you can get them to respect you. The only way you can do this is to stand up for what you believe in. One way to do this with annoying people is to clearly tell them what your boundaries are and what you will allow them to say to you. Letting others know about your feelings and boundaries helps them treat you in the manner you want to be treated.

5. Take your own advice
Instead of judging and giving advice to others, how about taking your own advice and practicing what you preach? Consider someone that is annoying right now. What exactly is it that annoys you about them and what advice would you give them to stop doing it? Now take your advice for this person, and apply it to yourself. Reality check – most of the time what you feel others should be doing, you need to apply in your own life.

Advice from a 90 Year Old

By Lisa Dudson www.acumen.co.nz

 

We can get so busy in our daily lives and get so stressed about the most simple of things.

These lessons were written by a 90 year old women Regina Brett who shows some great wisdom and provides a great reminder to us all.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks..
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. 17.. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Using a Property Finder

By Lisa Dudson http://www.acumen.co.nz

It’s a reasonable assumption to make that people who put a lot of time into learning a particular skill usually become experts at it. In other words…“practice makes perfect”. Property Investment is no different. It’s a business and should be treated as such. Things can turn pear-shaped when it’s regarded as a “hobby”.

We’ve all heard the barbeque disaster stories of people who have had bad experiences with property investing.  More often than not these people have made the mistake of diving in with minimal education and/or advice.

To run a successful property investment business you will need a team of skilled people working with and for you. This is likely to include a lawyer, accountant, mortgage broker, valuer and also possibly a property manager and project manager/builder. Unless you have the experience (or are able to put aside the time to create it!), using a professional property finder might make a lot of economic sense for you. It sure makes a lot of economic sense for me to pay a dentist rather than try to do it myself.

Recognising, sourcing and negotiating property investment opportunities is a specialised skill and those of you who are interested in saving time, money and stress may want to enlist I Find Property to help you build your property investment business. We’d love to work with you.

Maree Tassell is my business partner.  She has been investing in property for many years and started I Find Property over 6 years ago so she has lots of experience finding great deals for investors.

Time Stealers

By Robyn Pearce www.gettingagrip.com

At my Breakfast Club session in Wellington last Friday I asked my audience: ‘What is your biggest time-stealer?’ They were a cross-section of people from 11 different government organisations as well as several commercial businesses.

The list was extensive and there was a tie for first place. I suspect you won’t be surprised to hear that they were:

• interruptions and
• email.

The two issues are often linked, and one of the major reasons is the problem of recovery time, as I’ve discussed in a Herald Online column last year. (Interruptions Are Hazardous To Business 6th June 2012)

Another issue is open plan and that’s been discussed in my 2012 October and November articles.

      But what about when we interrupt ourselves?

I was living in Neutral Bay, Sydney in September 2000 and on a very tight deadline for the publishers with my second book ‘About Time 120 tips for those with no time‘ when I noticed something interesting.

If I hadn’t been under such pressure to get the manuscript to Reeds I doubt if I would have seen it quite as dramatically.

I’d set myself a target of writing 7 tips per day none are more than an A4 page and some are less so most days I cranked out about 1200- 1500 words.

     I knew about blocking out distractions and thought I’d shut down the significant ones. Email wasn’t looked at. No phones rang between 5 and 8. No-one was walking around. The only other momentary diversions were the kookaburras calling down at the harbour edge, the big white cruise liners coming up the Sydney Harbour to convert into floating hotels for the duration of the Olympics and the beauty of the changing sky and water as the sun came up. They gave lovely opportunities for pause moments but I certainly didn’t count them as distractions.

     But I began to notice that I was my own worst enemy. Each session began like this:

1. Re-read yesterday’s work
2. Make relevant corrections
3. Start writing.

Nothing wrong with that, you’re probably thinking. Problem was when a correction triggered a thought about something already written some pages prior. If it necessitated a change in work already done, when I stopped to attend to it then and there it would be often as much as 15 20 minutes before I’d get back into the flow of new writing. I was shocked to realise I was my own interruption!

     Solution? I started keeping a scribble pad beside the computer. As a thought relating to something already written popped in I would simply note it. At the end of the morning’s writing session I then gave myself permission to attend to the corrections. It worked like a charm and the speed of production ramped up significantly.

If you’ve studied Edward de Bono’s 6 Thinking Hats system you’ll know about keeping the brain working in one kind of thinking at a time. I couldn’t do new content and editing at the same time one was critical thinking, the other was creative.

And if you’ve read some of my books or attended any of my webinars, courses or speeches, you’ll have probably heard me talk about the power of CHUNKING. This little experience was an example of the power of chunking. I guess de Bono and I are talking about two sides of the same coin just different terminology.

     (And did I get the manuscript completed? Sure did! I had the delight of pressing Send to the editor and then walking down to the end of Kurraba Road with neighbours to watch the jet plane and its dramatic after-burners whoosh down from Homebush Stadium and out through the Sydney Heads to mark the closing ceremony of the Olympics.)

Delegation

By Robyn Pearce www.gettingagrip.com

Even in small businesses, great delegation is a vital skill for any business person who wants to expand or increase turnover. However, the problem is, very few have formal training in it. Many folk lurch along, doing their best, often overwhelmed by their own work as well as the needs of their people, trying not to feel resentful at the time it takes to train others.

If we carry on doing tasks that others at a lower pay rate, lesser skill set, or less responsibility can do as well, many of the following consequences happen.

1.  We’re effectively paying ourselves that lower rate
2.  We’re an expensive resource for our firm
3.  Those tasks could be a job for someone else
4.  We’re blocking growth and learning opportunities for someone else
5.  Our company will plateau in growth
6.  We may well burn out from exhaustion, trying to do everything
7.  We’ll probably work longer hours than we should be (with consequences for health, relationships and profitability of the firm)
8.  It has an impact on the nation’s productivity.

One of the hardest things to learn, when you first become responsible for other staff, is to get out of the way and let your staff get on with the job. Good delegators give their subordinates as much responsibility and authority as they are able to accept but at the same time maintain control. Paradoxically, they increase their own power by sharing it with others.

‘People do what you inspect, not so much what you expect. Set timelines and check up on them.’ – Owen Hoskin (a well-respected NZ educator and contributor to ‘About Time for Teaching – 120 time-saving tips for teachers and those who support them’.

A common mistake in delegation is passing work on too quickly and not setting enough relevant inspection points. Many would-be delegators don’t realise it’s a four-stage process, not a single action. If you don’t work through each phase with your delegatee, at some point you’ll almost certainly have to backtrack.

The four stages of delegation:

1. Directive delegation. Initially a new person needs clear instructions and lots of guidance, not the opportunity to use their initiative. They don’t know enough to need much support, so they won’t yet make many decisions. Your behaviour therefore needs to be highly directive, rather than supportive. In fact, the level of support is quite low. There will also probably be quite a bit of positive correction and adjustment, depending on the complexity of the task.

2. Coaching-style delegation. They start to understand the process. You encourage them to come with questions; you give plenty of explanations, continue to instruct, have lots of reviews, and also support them in learning and applying new skills and knowledge. You’ll be providing high levels of both direction and support.

These first two levels are where you do a lot of the inspecting Owen mentions above.

3. Supportive delegation. These folk now have a good grip on the process. You’re weaning both yourself and them off lots of ‘telling’ – direction is low. Instead, you mainly give them high support in making their decisions. Your role is to help where needed, review their actions and oversee results as they increase their level of responsibility. If you’ve got someone reluctant to take that next step, still constantly coming for assistance, ask them to bring two solutions for each question they come with. You’ll cut down their queries by at least half; you’re forcing them to think first, instead of ask first!

4. High-level delegation. Now you’re free! Your delegatee not only has an excellent understanding of the task, but they have the confidence to get on with the job. They can still come for help if they need it, but that’s a rare occurrence. You can now give only low support and low direction, and only need to review their work occasionally.

[This 4-step process is expanded in a couple of Kenneth Blanchard's books, including 'Leadership and the One Minute Manager'.]

Attitude Lessons From Multimillionaire Fashion Mogul Justin Herald

By Tom McSherry

A few weeks ago I attended a seminar for entrepreneurs held by Justin Herald.

Justin has made tens of millions of dollars in the clothing business, having launched his first brand, Attitude, with just $50 to his name. He was named Australian Entrepreneur of the Year back in 2004 and has written a stack of books on branding, entrepreneurship and various aspect of starting and running your own business since then. (His books are awesome if you’re starting up on a tight budget.)

It was a fascinating seminar, which I’ve been turning over in my head ever since. I thought I’d try to distil what I found to be the key lessons Justin expressed in his talk, as well as some of my own interpretations of what we can learn by looking at examples like him.

Forget Formality And Carve Your Own Path

One of the first striking things about Justin is that he’s far from the typical conception of ‘business-like.’ He’s the kind of person who decides what he wants and then figures out how to get it, without making any excuses. He’s not very ‘politically correct,’ and he doesn’t need to be – because he has that mindset that he is the boss.

He’s not going through life bowing down to anyone. This is a mindset that can be observed in virtually every hyper-successful entrepreneur, which I think is worthy of note. He reminded me a lot of Richard Branson in the way he dressed and carried himself.

Justin also made a point of saying he had never written a business plan. He actually created the first Attitude t-shirts to annoy a lady at his church, but when he had people coming up to him saying, “Where did you get that shirt?” he realized he was onto something – and so his business was born, almost by accident. But it’s what he did after that which sets him apart as an entrepreneurial genius.

Be Prepared To Get Creative

Justin shared a story about a problem he ran into when he first started trying to market his Attitude clothes to retailers.

He described a typical scenario: he’d walk into a surf store and start pitching the manager. Inevitably he’d get a response along the lines of, “There’s just no demand for that brand.” In frustration he’d try to point out that there was no demand because nobody knew about the brand yet, and as soon as they did know about it they’d want it. This didn’t get him very far, and stores refused to stock his clothing.

A lesser entrepreneur would have given up at this point. Not Justin Herald.

If it was demand he needed, then it was demand he’d create – even if it was only the illusion of demand. So he rounded up a few of his friends and they started making a habit of calling up clothing retailers several times a day asking, “Have you got any Attitude gear?”

Needless to say, the next time Herald went in to pitch retailers the response was a lot different: “Oh, Attitude! Yeah, we’re getting loads of calls about this stuff. Huge demand for it.” And they started making orders.

There’s a very important lesson in this attitude: any problem is only a temporary setback forcing you to be more creative. If you’re not achieving your goals, it may not be because you aren’t trying hard enough, but because you need to try a strategy which is outside the box.

Reinvest And Scale Up

This is one of the biggest lessons of the seminar: the simple beauty of compound growth.

It’s easy to start making a few thousand from your business and go hog wild, spending up on new cars and clothes. But ultimately the more you reinvest your profits in your business – the more you pour resources into a model you know already works – the faster you’ll get to join the millionaire’s club. This takes discipline.

Have Some Fun

Justin shared an anecdote about himself going to buy a car. I don’t remember off the top of my head what make and model it was – an Aston Martin, I think – but I do remember the price tag: $358,000.

Justin spoke about how it was always an event for him and his friends when he went to buy a new car because he likes to mess with the salespeople at upmarket car dealerships.

He puts on shorts and a tank top (so he doesn’t look like a millionaire) and strolls into the dealership with one of his mates (who is chosen by drawing straws, because all his friends want to come and watch but he can’t take an entourage of 10 guys into the showroom with him at once).

He told the story of how he went into the first dealership and asked for a test drive, and they basically laughed at him and told him he couldn’t afford it. Long story short, he went to a different dealership, bought the car, and then drove it back to the first dealership to show the cocky salesman the sale he had just missed out on.

Lesson for the salesman: Never make assumptions about a potential customer.

Lesson for the entrepreneur: What’s the point of making a lot of money if you can’t relax and enjoy it? Don’t feel like your income or your bank balance should dictate how you behave – whether your income is high or low at this point in time, you are who you are and that won’t change because of the number of dollars you have in the bank.

If you’re trying to be an entrepreneur because you think running a business will help you ‘fix yourself,’ you’re already approaching it from the wrong angle and actually holding yourself back.

Give Something Back

One of the parts of the talk I found most compelling was at the very end when Justin spoke about what happened when he realized he had more money than he could ever reasonably spend on himself.

He explained how he now dedicates a lot of his excess cash to building orphanages. This seems to be a common theme for many ‘accidental millionaires’ (I’m not implying that Justin somehow bumbled his way to having millions, but simply that he didn’t start out with the intention of making millions – he was just having fun, and financial success was basically a natural result of his personality and drive).

He also takes a lot of time these days to do things like giving seminars such as the one I attended – teaching other people to gain the success he has enjoyed in life.

He’s still in the clothing business – after selling the Attitude brand, he has spent the last couple of years developing a brand of sunglasses, Intimate Industries – which proves once again that once you understand the process and attitude behind entrepreneurial success, once you make it a part of who you are, you can repeat it again and again.

The Man with Attitude

By Celebrity Speakers website: http://www.celebrityspeakers.com.au

Justin Herald is a man with Attitude! In 1995, all Justin had to start his business was $50 and an attitude. With clever marketing campaigns and a strong desire to make something of his life, Justin set out to turn his $50 into a multi-million dollar empire in just 6 years.

Attitude Gear® was the brand and motivational quotes were the key. Justin began printing t-shirts with slogans such as ‘In the end it’s all a matter of attitude’ and now has a wide range of products selling in over 3,500 stores throughout Australia.

Justin’s business success has allowed him to retire from Attitude Gear® and turn his passion to helping others achieve their business and personal goals. Justin has worked closely with major organisations such as the Australian Tax Office, Phillips and IP Australia. He is in high demand as a motivational speaker – in 12 months alone he delivered presentations to 150,000 people on topics of success, passion and opportunity.

Justin is also a best-selling author. His first two books Would you like Attitude with that? and What Are You Waiting For? have become international best-sellers. His third book released in 2004, It’s all a Matter of Attitude, became an Australian best-seller in less than two weeks. More recently, he has published How to Grow Your Business Without Spending a Single Cent and So You Have a Great Idea for a Business… Now What? He has also released a variety of CDs and DVDs, which focus on how to reach your goals and live your dreams.

Justin Herald talks about:

Justin Herald talks to leaders and staff about achieving their full potential and provides expertise to businesses and individuals looking for advice from a proven market leader. His vast array of speaking topics range from his own business’ success story, to branding, marketing, business building, leadership, customer service, the psychology of success, and more.

Real, personable and approachable, Justin is someone who truly ‘walks the talk’. His presentations are energetic and full of practical information to challenge and inspire audiences. His down to earth style and no-nonsense attitude is well received by audiences and his messages are taken away and remembered long after the event.

Client testimonials

Wow! Justin was well received by our audience. He delivered a very thought provoking message!

Advanced Retail Management Systems

A person with a clear sense of direction, a vision for the future and the ability to encourage and influence others to become committed to those same directions.

Australian Taxation Office.

It’s my opinion that anyone who wants to succeed in life needs to hear you speak. You have given me the extra drive I was searching for.

ITN Group

Thoroughly entertaining, informative and inspiring. An extremely effective communicator, a dynamic personality, an energetic and influential individual.

Hand Brake Turn

Thank you for your inspiring words at our Motor Show Breakfast. I have fielded so many call from the Dealer network stating how motivating your speech was and also your ability to connect with each and every one of us.

Mercedes Car Group

Justin is the best speaker we have ever had for any of our conferences. His content, delivery style and messages rang plenty of bells and enabled us to end the conference on a high note.

PepsiCo

I was particularly pleased with how you focused on customer service and its importance, accompanied with your down to earth examples of your philosophies in action. You certainly tailored your experiences to relate to the people on my team.

Boots Outdoor World

Justin Herald’s ability to connect with people at all stages of life and from all walks of life is exceptional. I have never seen our management group so unanimous about anything before. They all loved it!

Vision Group Australia

Justin was received well by the Lifeline group. What he had to share was relevant and certainly entertaining. What Justin delivered was what I was looking for.

Lifeline